I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
