Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
