I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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