Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
