That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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