get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
