im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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