I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I CAN MOONWALK!
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
A bitchslap is in order.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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