You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
