i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
ttyl tear gas
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
