last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
