i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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