I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I don't think brook has ever known best
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
