When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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