Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I cockslap morals
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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