nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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