FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
