Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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