If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize