i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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