I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
