So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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