and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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