my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize