11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
