About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
