Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
