okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Someone signed my nipple.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
