is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize