So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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