Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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