I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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