There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just forgot I was standing up.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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