I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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