Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
