So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
