Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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