Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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