I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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