I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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