About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
