Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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