During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
