can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
