ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
