It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
