actually, I'm a sock model
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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