He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
