nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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