Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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