i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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