Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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