you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
vagina is talking i cant
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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