singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
