she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
