Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
