is your mom at the bar?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
