I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
