i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
