whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
