I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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