I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
