Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she told me i tasted like america
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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