why didn't you poke me back
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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